Sweet Surrender

I am not perfect…..in fact far from it. I am often tired, broken, and in need of a savior. Jesus died so that I may live. He doesn’t promise an easy life. In fact he assures that there will be trials. Even though my prayers might be for something different, I have to remember that He knows best. He surely knows what is ahead and and is growing me into who He wants me to become. I want to face each day with what He gives and know that no matter what he hands me, I have assurance that He has prepared me for whatever may come. That is so easy to say now in the easy moments. But I have seen that out of pain, and suffering, and wait, comes something beautiful.

I remember many years ago when Rad and I were first married and in a small group, that a question was posed that was hard to answer. They asked us what was something BIG we were praying for. There have been so many challenging moments throughout our marriage that made us really have to face God and praise Him in the storm. It was painful, and scary, and really REALLY hard. But God was molding us and growing us into who He wanted us to become.

I am by no means saying I have arrived into who He wants me to be (I have a long way to go I am sure)…but I see the purpose of my suffering so much more now. I see the gifts he has given me to use for HIS glory. I see my past pain and why He walked me down those windy roads so that I may hold someone else’s hand as they do the same. I see His provision as something that is meant to be shared, and not kept for myself. I see the walls, and the insecurities that he is tearing down in me. If anything, I think I am more dependent on Him now because of it all.

I have so much to be thankful for in this moment and I am LOVED by a God who created me for so much more than I know.

Starting in the fall I will start homeschooling. If you would have asked me several years ago if I thought I would have ever done this, I would have told you no…it hadn’t even crossed my mind. I love the thought that God knew all along that I would arrive at this moment and He placed so many things in my path to prepare me for this time. Without even asking, He has placed so many mentors around me here in Savannah. I know it won’t be easy, and I know I will face criticism from many angles but all God asks of me is to trust Him and follow His lead. I NEED Him so that I may shepherd the flock he has placed in my care. What a HUGE responsibly and one I am so thankful He has placed on my heart.

Thank you God for growing me, for pushing me and for pursuing me.